Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
