your parents love me but you hate me
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
