I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
