She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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