its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
A+ Viking dick
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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