People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
