i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
