She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
