if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
