Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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