Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
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