yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
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