And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Randomize
