i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
