It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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