I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
