I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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