it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
