She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Randomize
