Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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