..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize
