I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
