im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
