Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
