Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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