Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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