Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
