I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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