Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
