This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
