Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
