the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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