I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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