I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
