At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Randomize
