Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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