Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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