My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
