Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
