hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
