Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
