We need to start having sex underwater more often.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
You did what with his pubic hair?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
