i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
