I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Ladies don't puke and tell
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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