So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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