I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Maybe he injected his testicle?
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
