some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Randomize
