margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
