I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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