I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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